What Song sings to you -
I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true - my electronics speak to me. My television will answer my questions directly, the radio will interrupt and answer me, songs will play upon command and it becomes laughable to those who know me best.
I was sitting there, aside my altar and crying over the signs this week - the messages of forgiveness. Then, this song plays, one I’ve never heard. The lyrics pulled at my heart strings, causing me to reach out and do a cord cutting ceremony right there, as the smoke rose around my body.
The ring of these lyrics - ‘don’t take that sinner from me…’ and how we yearn to hang onto that backbone, when it’s all we have.
“Give me the burden, give me the blame
I’ll shoulder the load, and I’ll swallow the shame
Give me the burden, give me the blame
How many, how many Hail Marys is it gonna take?
Don’t care if he’s guilty, don’t care if he’s not
He’s good and he’s bad and he’s all that I’ve got
Oh Lord, Oh Lord, I’m begging you please
Don’t take that sinner from me
Oh don’t take that sinner from me”
I release, even the backbone that has raised me - the aversion to love because fear and hate has been so heavy in my heart.
I took a deep breath, I burned my list of bullshit to finally let go - and smile as the song comes on… also another new song, with lyrics so perfect…
“I’m a dead man walking here
But that’s the least of all my fears
Ooh, underneath the water
It’s not Alabama clay
That gives my trembling hands away
Please forgive me father
Ain’t going back to Barton Hollow
Devil gonna follow me e’er I go
Won’t do me no good washing in the river
Can’t no preacher man save my soul
Did that full moon force my hand?
Or that unmarked hundred grand?
Ooh, underneath the water
Please forgive me father
Miles and miles in my bare feet
Still can’t lay me down to sleep
If I die before I wake
I know the Lord my soul won’t take
I’m a dead man walking”